were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
