Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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