check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
