some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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