Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
