Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
