also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
