Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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