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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.

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  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels

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• (925): View more from California

  We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (646): View more from New York

  I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  My butt remains clenched, sir.

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