Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
