i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
