We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I forget how to act sober
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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