Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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