I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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