My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
