a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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