dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
