a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
