help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
