We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
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Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
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We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize