The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
