bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
