Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
