Non-Jews are for practice
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
