let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Semen is not good for contacts.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
