You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
