we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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