You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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