The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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