3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize