Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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