honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
