Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
