I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
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Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
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Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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