I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
