yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize