i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
