I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
