She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You can't just leave with hair like that
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
