There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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