she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
