So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize