I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
