I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
