This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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