I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
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he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
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How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.