Texts From Last Night

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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???

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  (501): he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date??? http://tfl.nu/obkl
  Replies (30) Good night (6376) Bad night (1191)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.

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  (702): No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up. http://tfl.nu/ztp2
  Replies (14) Good night (8226) Bad night (736)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...

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  (780): It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan... http://tfl.nu/8psb
  Replies (20) Good night (938) Bad night (3981)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.

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  (231): His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots. http://tfl.nu/wxgc
  Replies (6) Good night (3769) Bad night (770)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  it is a toga and you are a goddess.

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  (615): In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted (1-615): it is a toga and you are a goddess. http://tfl.nu/2t04
  Replies (15) Good night (4803) Bad night (761)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?

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  (919): My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect? http://tfl.nu/6qrg
  Replies (5) Good night (1134) Bad night (406)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive

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  (412): The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive http://tfl.nu/jyc3
  Replies (3) Good night (1409) Bad night (408)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis

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  (703): that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis http://tfl.nu/car4
  Replies (7) Good night (1020) Bad night (431)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.

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  (905): And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced. http://tfl.nu/b7p5
  Replies (12) Good night (2881) Bad night (492)
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  (209): View more from California

  Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!

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  (209): Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology! http://tfl.nu/c0oh
  Replies (5) Good night (1016) Bad night (263)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.

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  (817): I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday. http://tfl.nu/g52l
  Replies (5) Good night (356) Bad night (831)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  When did angry sex become our thing?

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  (815): When did angry sex become our thing? http://tfl.nu/g3vv
  Replies (3) Good night (715) Bad night (249)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.

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  (787): It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life. http://tfl.nu/p96v
  Replies (1) Good night (531) Bad night (231)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.

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  (484): THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt. http://tfl.nu/dqcw
  Replies (5) Good night (502) Bad night (811)
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  (818): View more from California

  Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.

  (714): View more from California

  Who cares about New York?

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  (818): Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking. (714): Who cares about New York? http://tfl.nu/z7nj
  Replies (0) Good night (629) Bad night (202)

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