even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year