STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.