Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right