Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti http://tfl.nu/zbwe
  Replies (36) Good night (23222) Bad night (1244)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room http://tfl.nu/2egq
  Replies (50) Good night (1602) Bad night (8127)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language http://tfl.nu/v1ob
  Replies (17) Good night (4523) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line. http://tfl.nu/z4vy
  Replies (23) Good night (734) Bad night (3866)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea http://tfl.nu/2rdl
  Replies (9) Good night (1002) Bad night (2986)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to." http://tfl.nu/qnhd
  Replies (16) Good night (1892) Bad night (5577)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit. http://tfl.nu/67fb
  Replies (20) Good night (4252) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car.. http://tfl.nu/pywi
  Replies (14) Good night (2701) Bad night (1146)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in

  (1-423): View more from Tennessee

  Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in (1-423): Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home http://tfl.nu/1crt
  Replies (4) Good night (560) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me? http://tfl.nu/mhv8
  Replies (4) Good night (421) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor. http://tfl.nu/2e0y
  Replies (6) Good night (1430) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good. http://tfl.nu/gr5l
  Replies (1) Good night (697) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): 100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm http://tfl.nu/mujv
  Replies (1) Good night (792) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands... http://tfl.nu/z4i5
  Replies (2) Good night (272) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/55s3
  Replies (5) Good night (1164) Bad night (246)

Randomize