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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  He asked me if I "almost moaned"

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• (214): View more from Texas

  No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.

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• (914): View more from New York

  I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it

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• (805): View more from California

  No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  You pretty much did tho

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Which president had the biggest dick?

  (917): View more from New York City

  Take your time, I'll wait

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