Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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