I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
