Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
