So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize