I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
