I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
