Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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