i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
My vagina just recognized that song.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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