She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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