k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
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omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
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An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
And then the night went full on bisexual.