If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
