i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
