How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize