'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
